Ambition

This morning I woke up with ambition. Ambition for the Lord, ambition to grow in my faith, ambition to please Him. All great things to be ambitious about. But I wonder what the Lord thinks when I come to Him like this. When I come to Him with a hatred for my sin and a promise to never mess up or fail again. A promise that I will follow Him with my whole heart for the rest of my days and to never stray from Him. Obviously, I am mature enough in my walk to know that this isn’t true. He knows that, I know that. But I just wonder what He thinks when I come to Him with promises that I can’t keep. I wonder if he smiles, or smirks and thinks to Himself, “Alright Blayze, calm down.” Or maybe he looks at me tenderly and says, “Blayze, I love you. What I did for you was enough. Just sit with me now and listen to my voice. When I tell you to love someone that is different than you, love them well. When I tell you to have the hard conversation, trust me. When I tell you to deny yourself, find strength in me. And when you fail, willingly or unwillingly, fall at my feet. It is the only safe place to land.” And maybe He gets on the ground with me and holds me close as I sit there with cuts and scrapes that I picked up from the last week. He doesn’t send me away and He doesn’t give up on me. Not because of my past achievements or a foreknowledge of my future accomplishments. The reason He keeps me is simply because the Father has given me to Him. And because the Father has given me to Him, I will come to Him. And all those that come to Him, He will never cast out.

So, Father, remind me of this. When I get overly ambitious and make promises that we both know I can’t keep. Nothing I say or do brings me value. But truly, I am valuable because You chose me to be. And I can sit at Your feet after the mess that I made and know that is exactly where You want me to be. The place I am most safe, seen, and loved.